plastic inflatable dummy husband

Not trying to offend anybody here, but that doesn’t mean I won’t.  Its just like this.  Baby bottles are just a part of our culture.  For a variety of reasons, and, if you have used one, its not your fault that our culture is the way it is.  But here’s the story from where I sit.  I have breasts.  They are attached to my body.  They are intended for the care and feeding of my offspring.  My breasts are located in close proximity to my arms, and my babies are born helpless, therefore one would have to assume that I am meant to hold the offspring and nurse it close to me.

Challenge me on this is you like, but nature and reason both rear their ugly heads in this conversation. 

Bottles are artificial breasts.  They are.  They’re supposed to be.   It’s true.

If we nurture our young with plastic things, like artificial breasts, it is essentially the same thing as my husband giving me an artificial plastic dummy of himself and saying, here, hug this.  I am kind of busy with my job and my hobbies and they are good and wonderful things I am doing, even some work for the Church and my prayer life and you will just have to cuddle this artificial me because I am not available in person at this time. 

Besides, I don’t want you getting too dependent on me.  I want you to be independent and secure.

So here’s the plastic inflatable dummy husband.