how to be nice: part one
G.K. Chesterton said that angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. There's a lesson in that. He also said that sorrow can be alleviated by a good sleep, a bath and a glass of wine. I wish he had said two. But anyway.
Children are really, really funny. We know this because when we get together as parents and talk about the most frustrating things about our children and our interactions with them...it's really funny! But in the moment. Well. Often less funny. Only funny in retrospect.
Proverbs 15:13 A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is broken. A merry heart makes us appear cheerful. It changes how we carry ourselves. but sorrow or angst or upset, brings us down further, breaks us. And breaks our children. Sometimes kids work really hard to pull the parent out of a sadness or anger. It shouldn't be their job. That is a heavy load for a small one.
Likewise, Job 9: 27 says, If I say "I will not complain" I will change my face (expression, countenance, carriage) and I will be cheerful."
Cheerfulness is an act of the will. A desire to be Christ-like. Often, a conscious decision to master ourselves. It is an act of heroic virtue.
If you don't feel cheerful, pretend you are. Apparently it is quite effective. Christian parents are called to heroism. We are called to lay down our lives for Christ, who is in others, particular we need consider our children. Because they are our particular gift from God. We are heroic virtue to be cheerful when you aren't, and what a pleasant task, to work on cheerfulness.
Humour is a form of virtue because it is a form of cheerfulness. Building fun, silliness, joyfulness, playfulness and humour into your day is not all that different than forming the habit of prayer, or brushing your teeth. It is a habit. It comes easier to some than others, but we all have the capacity for joyfulness, cheerfulness.
Giving ourselves opportunity to be funny, laugh out loud, give in to silliness and we generally feel a lot happier. Have a good laugh with your husband after the kids are in bed. Tell him the funny things they said. Watch a funny movie together. Or, try out this guy...Tim Hawkins.
Just try NOT to belly laugh. It's good to be silly with your kids. It brings out the best in us, lightens most potentially volatile situations. It builds the habit of being cheerful. Saint Paul said that when we show mercy, we should do so cheerfully. If we need to discipline our children, our love for them should shine through in our discipleship.
In Second Corinthians, Paul again urges us to give cheerfully. While the context of this passage reflects our financial or temporal tithing, I think it also reflects all of the giving that we do, in our laying down our life. Joy in the pain, healing in going outside ourselves, giving til it hurts. Through these we develop the spiritual life, gain self control, FEEL MORE JOY.
The great paradox of the Christian life.
