more on the deep dark past

I married young.  I married unwisely, the first time.  I didn't listen.  And I thought they were wrong.  Despite all that, they day of my first wedding, I thought to myself....this is a bad idea.  This is going to have some serious repercussions.  This is not going to be good for me.

First mistake.  God wasn't part of the picture.  I didn't invite Him.  I actually didn't know that marriage was His idea in the first place.  The reality of the situation was that I didn't actually know He existed at all.  So that part wasn't really my fault I suppose.

But, and this is the morality tale part of the story for anyone who needs it; I married as a way out of my guilt for having given myself away so young.  I was sixteen.  And, yes, there was coercion, however, I knew it was all wrong, although I had no formation and all.  The upside was, I got married at twenty as a way out, Silly Me...but then by the time I was twenty three, I was given a beautiful daughter, who ultimately was the reason I started searching for God.

I hadn't willed her into existence, I knew that the precious life I carried was a gift, and I started looking for the Giver and He, in His infinite generosity, and after a year or two of cynical tumult, vexation and rebellion on my part, He showed Himself to me.

And, so grateful He was willing to carry the burden of my sins.

I met Sparky when Alice was two.  
And that's the reason why...I very, very rarely feel a need to Him deny.

Now you know why I don't write poetry.  I'll leave that to Mr. Belloc.