bride's tree: a beautiful Catholic tradition of enigmatic origin

Originally published in December 30, 2017

Several years ago, I stumbled across a Catholic tradition of the “Bride’s Tree.”  It seems that there are only guesses at its origin.  Dubious or not, I think it’s a lovely tradition.  The Bride’s Tree is a set of twelve ornaments given to a bride on her first Christmas of married life.  The ornaments are symbolic of her life as wife and mother.  I gave a few Bride’s Tree sets away several years ago, but discovering that it’s actually quite a lot of work to pull it together…that I would save Bride’s Tree work for my own daughters and future daughters-in-law.

Our eldest daughter (fondly known here as Alice in blogland) got married last April, and like her sisters, I put together this set of ornaments for her Christmas Tree.  I’m including the letter that went with, so that you ambitious and sentimental might consider starting Bride’s Trees for the special women in your life.

Dear Alice,

Years ago I came across an old Catholic tradition (origin elusive) of a gift to a bride on her first Christmas as a married woman. There were twelve ornaments given to the bride, each symbolic of her life as a wife and mother. When I was putting together Polly and Scout’s Bride’s Tree collection Christmas of 2015, I put aside a few things for you too. For someday. And someday came.  Here are the twelve ornaments and what they represent:

Heart- love in the home

House – family shelter

Flower basket – beauty in the home

Basket of fruit – plenty

Teapot – hospitality

Bird in a nest – confidence in the shelter

Pinecone – eternity

Animal – peace with nature

Fish – Christ, as well as fertility

Rose – Virgin Mary

Church or angel – God

Saint Nicholas – giving and sharing

Firstly, I’ve chosen a heart off our own family tree. I’ve always loved having hearts on my tree, and have many. As hearts are symbolic of love in the home, I thought choosing one from the home you grew up in would be appropriate. This heart is one of my favourite ornaments…it is showing some lovely signs of wear. Like me.

The house is very special. I bought it at the dollar store in Mill Bay. If you break it, I have another. Two pack.

I made the little basket of fruit and the flower basket. The flowers for the basket were snipped out of your wedding bouquet that sits on our bookcase. The origin of the plastic fruit is meaningless.

I couldn’t find a teapot ornament, so I made this one. I also made the bird in the nest. The dollar store people helped me. The pinecone was one of Gramma’s special Christmas ornaments.

I chose this bird as the animal, it is from our family Christmas ornament collection. This hooked bird was made by Grumpy, you maternal great-grandmother. Rosebud and I made the fish ornament. It’s quite hard to find a fish ornament unless you go to Cabela’s. And I don’t buy ornaments at hunting stores.

The silver rose was a special ornament of Gramma’s. The rose signifies the Virgin, but I’ve also included an ornament of Mary (and a wee one of The Baby) that you made a long time ago. The angel was one that Gramma had given you three girls when you were small, and the three of them were always on our tree. You each have your own now.

The Saint Nicholas was given to us years ago by Bobbie. I have always loved this ornament, and I hope you do too.

Now, this is my addition to this lovely tradition. I have tried to choose a couple of items for all of you, my lovely brides, that were a bit hard to give away.

As a wife and mother, you give and give. And sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes you feel like you are having to give away more than you can. But there are beautiful moments, almost every day if you have eyes to see – where the heavens part and you see that what you are giving away is building something beautiful, something much greater than yourself. Not just something for the future, but building the future.

Something for God.

So, making it a little bit hard to give things away reminds me of the good and beautiful that comes of the sometimes difficult gift of self.

I hope it will be a tiny reminder for you of how very much I love you.

Please always remember that you brought me to Him.

A blessed Advent to you and Husband and the small one, December, 2017 – mama