how do we know if we're doing a good job?

July 30, 2019

Well.  We don’t. I think our best bet is to not try to quantify such things. Try to be in relationship with the other. The spouse, the children, the in-laws. All the people. 

It’s a lot like holiness. Or personal achievement. Or wisdom or education. 

We aren’t done. We’re never done. And we’re suspicious of those who talk as though they’ve arrived. Relationships aren’t a done deal. They’re a process.

They’re a dance. Where we grow in our ability to manoeuvre, to guide, to be kind, to enjoy ourselves. 

Dance. 

We have to be okay with the not knowing if we’ve done a good job and be okay with growing every day and make ourselves stop evaluating our success or failure. Just be. Just be in a relationship, of whatsoever kind and whoever is there, in our life, right in front of us in all the minutes. All the minutes. That’s where success lies. In the exact minute in front of us. One minute at a time. 

It is all we have. 

Let’s define success differently. Let’s define it as joy in relationships. Contentment. Peace. 

Doing a good job loving shouldn’t be outcome-based. 

It should be moment-sought.