We are living in extraordinary times. We need to be open to the gifts of this time of isolation. For almost everyone, in every place, activities have been cancelled, or gone online. It’s a change, for sure, some negative, but absolutely some benefits to be had here.

We often spend large swathes of our time being bossed around by our activities and obligations. There are, of course, many good and worthy commitments to take on, but economies of scale would suggest that the value we get out of our activities is actually going to decrease if we have too many commitments going on at any one time.

There’s no particular rule for “how much is too much” in family life, but we can be fairly certain of a few things. If we are cranky a lot, or if the kids are cranky a lot, probably a good sign that too much is going on….If you dread your once well-loved activities because it just feels like “one more thing…” probably a good sign that too much is going on. If you can’t keep up with the normal things to keep a household running relatively smoothly, it’s probably another sign.

Now, with all the Not Happening is such a good time just too see what that feels like, how it affects family life, our ability to get things done, how we spend our time.

We should not be ruled by our activities. We should have the ability to choose the kind of life we want to live. The majority of our activities are, in fact, our choices - but we can still end up feeling ruled by them, as thought we don’t have a choice in the matter. We signed on, so we have to do this thing. We committed, so we have to show up. It’s a good thing, therefore we must be benefiting from it. Unless it’s one good thing too many.

I believe that is the inherent gift of these times. A sense of what it feels like to be less committed. “No commitments” is probably too few. But these times can help us find the balance if we allow it. Perhaps it’s an opportunity to exercise our right to clear our slates of activities, and choose what stays after this is all over.

Choose, and not be governed by commitments.