Bonnie Landry

View Original

walking at home

Polly and I started doing this exercise video.  I can hardly believe I have come to this place.  Anyway.  So we got this Walk At Home video by Leslie Sansone.  And you know what?  I love her.  She is the most cheerful, compassionate person I know.  I think she might be the best friend I ever had.

I love her.

You know what I love best about her?  She is so cheerful.  Just as cheerful as we are supposed to be.  I think it is all the endorphins.  It doesn't look like it but it does make me wonder if a person can get too many endorphins and if a person can get too many endorphins, what are the side effects?

You get a lot of endorphins when you give birth, they say.  And to tell you the truth, I am actually pretty cheerful when I give birth.  Not cheerful like my new best friend, but pretty cheerful for a woman giving birth.

I never have bitten Sparky.

He's is probably more grateful than anyone that I am cheerful during birth.  There are pretty simple rules for births.  Whosoever is giving birth gets to make the rules. Queen for a day. My birth, I get to decide everything.

Anyway back to Leslie the walking video lady.  She is so cheerful that someone will probably label it as a disorder.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but your cheerfulness clearly falls outside the range of what the medical community feels is normal.  We suspect you are suffering from OChS.  That's Outrageously Cheerful Syndrome.  Recommended course of treatment is to significantly reduce anything that makes you feel well, like perhaps all that exercise, and maybe introducing some Bad Food into your regular diet.  Should that fail to take you down a notch, we can assess the next level of cheerfulness reduction, which may include either or both of the following treatments." 

"We usually start with some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which includes, in your situation, gradually increasing daily exposure to thoughts and situations which are depressing.  We usually recommend to start with reading the daily local newspaper.  From there you can start listening to the regional news, this should take you to a more normal level of cheerfulness, punctuated with nastiness throughout the day.  This course of treatment will normally then lead to watching the evening national news on television, so that you can go to bed at night, totally immersing your night time thoughts with both worldwide catastrophes and local tragedy and scourge."

"We like to take a "Whole Person" approach to wellness, and in order to treat your cheerfulness effectively, its important to assess mind, body and spirit.  We feel that you will have reached a level within the scope of normal when its clear that you have difficulty concentrating sometimes throughout the day, stressors make your physical ill (even mild illness is a sure sign of success) and that you feel despair on a regular basis, even occasionally questioning the point of your existence at all."

"In the unlikely event that this treatment proves ineffective, or too slow, we will of course consider putting you on a short course, no more than six months, of medication which is designed to decrease brain function, and depress to small degrees of course, all the function of your vital organs.  I see no impediment to success for your treatment."