Remember last week when we (meaning me) were talking about joy? I know, I talk about joy a lot, but I do like joy. And I do pursue joy. I’m not always great at it, but my goals are really clear.

Let me be transparent. The quest for joy is far less about what you DO and far more about how you ARE. In your brain and heart and soul. It’s not finding a hobby or even spending time away from the noise of your life. Joy is in all the things.

Joy is an attitude.

And what’s more - you can change your attitude. You can practice and get better at seeing what joy there is. Isn’t that so lovely? I love to grow things. It brings me a lot of joy. But joy doesn’t lie in the growing things. I could get competitive when my neighbours roses are nicer than mine. I could get irritated when the woodbugs eat my strawberries. I could despise the buttercup that invades my garden (actually, that’s pretty true, I regularly trash talk the buttercup). I could be annoyed or stressed or discouraged when it’s not perfect.

Growing things could be a frustration. Or a joy. It’s a decision.

Kids can be a frustration. Or a joy. And we don’t have to beat ourselves up because we get frustrated sometimes. The moments of frustration are opportunities to learn that we still have many things to learn.

I have many things to learn.

And, lucky for us parents, there is no lack of opportunity to practice being tender in the frustrating moments.

I love to grow things. I think I love growing thing because it reminds me of my vocation. I can’t demand that my flowers grow well and produce things.

I must tend them. Consider their environment, nurture their soil, water and weed. And appreciate the blossoms, even when they are weak or fragile. Or sparse.

Tend is a beautiful word, look here:

From dictionary.com

verb (used without object)

• to be disposed or inclined in action, operation, or effect to do something

• to be disposed toward an idea, emotion, way of thinking

• to lead or conduce, as to some result or resulting condition be inclined to or have a tendency toward a particular quality, state, or degree

We tend. It’s what we do. The origin of the word “tend” is to stretch. We see it play out in so many beautiful words - intend, pretend, attend, tendency, tender, tendril. Look them up. The are words that stretch, reach out, go beyond. And that’s what we do.

Here are some things I tend.