Three years ago, I wrote this:

The role of mammal used to be much clearer in my life.  I just did and had the appropriate mammal stuff.  Giving birth to live young on a fairly regular basis.  Feeding them with milk that I produced myself.  Living in community.  Raising my offspring in a warm and loving manner.

Hahaha.  At least trying to raise my offspring in a warm and loving manner.

Oh, sure, I still have hair and a backbone and all the mammal-y stuff.  Here’s the kicker, though.  Those days that were physically demanding with all the babies and the feeding of them which required a lot of energy and time, made a lot of mess, stole my sleep…

They were sweet.

I miss those days.  I’m loving these days, but there is something so sweet about just rolling your sleeves up and doing the work in front of you.  Doing what needs to be done, doing your job.  

Raising humans.  

Birthing, feeding, changing, washing, guiding, protecting.  It’s all so very tangible and meaningful. 

Having past the hard-core mammal phase of life means that my focus is more philosophical.  Yes, I’m still trying to raise my children in a warm and loving manner, but that is much more a brain and heart exercise now that the tenderness of hands and arms.  It’s more psychologically challenging than physical.  And so that means less tangible.  No, not less meaningful but the focus is almost exclusively on the “raising offspring in a warm and loving manner” part.  And I’m not always warm and loving.

Thoughts from the early days of the mammal blog 

My role has changed.  Like it’s supposed to.

And here’s and update for 2020:

I still miss those days. They will likely remain the sweetest I’ve ever lived. I’ve adapted to these days and I’m loving these days more than ever. To be available to those I love, to support them through their adult lives, to have….wait for it…free time.

I understand how hard it is. I don’t know anyone’s particular struggle, I have not walked in their shoes. But. I know that life is full of struggle and joy and most of the struggle and joy comes from people that you are raising…

But I have been there, and I do not sugar coat the difficulty of these times full of messes and misbehaviour and martyrdom ~ but I do suspect, like from where I look back now, your memories of these hard years will be the sweetest ones of all.

You are in my prayers.